I hate 180...

Where do 180's come from? I hate them. What I hate the most is when you wake up one morning and realize a 180 has taken place and caught you off guard. I hate them so much, that I plan with all the strength in me, not to have anymore. I woke up and BAM there it was! 180 all the way! Then you have to battle and scrap and scrape and dig and claw not to go further down in the pit the enemy so wants to push you into. You can't feel God, you can't feel anything so faith comes in handy in a big way and believing the Word is true and standing on it is all you have. I've been here before and that is what makes me so stinkin' mad! Where did I miss it?!! I'm just so thankful that God has given me eyes and ears to see and hear more quickly than I have before. I don't have to remain here. I just have to make an adjustment or two. I'm just mad I am here at all! I don't give up easy. With God's help, I will stand on top again. I pray I can be even more quick to discern the next time the pit has an opening the size of Texas! Thank you my Lord for Your faithfulness and patience. Thank you that You are the one person that doesn't give up on me and that stays with me through it all, even through every careless mistake. Thank you for loving me. By your grace, I will never give up because I know that You are faithful to complete the good work You have begun in me and to be honest, I've had just about enough of not knowing the person You see in me... I could not be more ready to meet her...I love you forever, my King... Do what You what You must in me till there is no me, only You... I'm ready... no more 180's...no more...and just between me and You Lord, I let that part of me go, and I know you will know what I'm talking about...